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Brent Batten: CSI: Miami, CSI: Immokalee, What’s the difference?

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Investigators using a Fast Real-Time PCR to look for evidence of HI. B DNA at a place called IFAS.

It’s no wonder the new lab in eastern Collier County has been likened to the hit television show “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” which follows the exploits of scientist-detectives in locations such as Miami, New York and Las Vegas.

But the researchers at the Southwest Florida Research and Education Center are working to identify a bacterial disease that preys on orange trees. So it’s more like, “CSI: Citrus Sickness Identification.” The closest town is Immokalee. If it’s successful there, you could see spin-offs: “CSI: LaBelle,” and “CSI: Clewiston.”

The concepts are close enough to spawn confusion. Technicians wearing rubber gloves peering through microscopes looking for clues. You can almost hear the agricultural detectives talking in their own vernacular and using acronyms similar to those used by their more glamorous counterparts in the fictional world of high-tech TV crime fighters.

As a public service, here are some of the terms employed by the likes of detectives Willow and Stokes on “CSI,” their TV definitions and the alternate definitions more likely used by the ag-oriented staff at Immokalee’s own “CSI.”

Aggravated: For criminal investigators — A condition that makes an offense more serious and subjects the offender to greater punishment. For agricultural investigators — How consumers get when you try to explain how the prices of wheat and corn have gotten to where they are today.

Allege: For criminal investigators — To assert a fact. For agricultural investigators — A good place to grow tomatoes in a window box.

Ballistics: For criminal investigators — The science of analyzing the use of firearms in criminal acts. For agricultural investigators — How consumers will get when you explain where the prices of wheat and corn are headed.

Complaint: For criminal investigators — A statement under oath whereby a witness accuses an individual of criminal behavior. For agricultural investigators — “We need rain,” “It costs more to pick my crops than I can get selling them,” things like that.

ICE: For criminal investigators — Immigration and Customs Enforcement. For agricultural investigators — Not a big problem around these parts.

Pathology: For criminal investigators — The study and diagnosis of disease through examination of organs, tissues, cells and bodily fluids. For agricultural investigators — The study of the foot trail through the orange grove.

Person of interest: For criminal investigators — Anyone who might have knowledge that police want. For agricultural investigators — The farmer’s daughter.

Serial killer: For criminal investigators — A person who murders three or more people with a ‘cooling off’ period between each murder and whose motivation for killing is largely based on psychological gratification. For agricultural investigators — A disease that wipes out the rice harvest.

VIN: For criminal investigators — The abbreviation for vehicle identification number. For agricultural investigators — What grapes grow on.

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E-mail Brent Batten at bebatten@naplesnews.com

Comments

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Brent,

I just don't see your point behind this posting. Sounds like you cannot see Immokalee progress to a city that is capable of overshadowing Naples. Give Immokalee about 10 years and you might be living in Immokalee and calling your kin folks to do the same.

#1 Posted by USDfender on May 13, 2008 at 1:19 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I can't myself...certainly not within 10 years and probably much more than that.

#2 Posted by pauls on May 13, 2008 at 7:29 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Lighten up folks. Looks to me like the man has a sense of humor- imagine that. Have a great day!

#3 Posted by fancygal on May 13, 2008 at 10:06 a.m. (Suggest removal)



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