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So now the presidential campaign has gone from lipstick to middle names.

That’s a move I can identify with.

When I was growing up, the use of a middle name meant someone was in trouble.

But not the speaker, as in Mike Scott’s case.

The person spoken to.

With my mother, the original version of Homeland Security, the threat levels were reflected by the length of your name at any given moment.

“Jeff” meant business as usual. Normal. Code green.

“Jeffrey” meant “Your attention, please.”

A disturbance in the force. Condition yellow.

“Jeffrey Frank” meant the next level of danger.

Code orange.

“Jeffrey Frank Lytle” — while not as colorful or provocative of the full name that the Lee County sheriff invoked this past week at Germain Arena — meant code red.

Highest level of danger.

Only difference is, Scott’s message was that with Barack Hussein Obama in the White House, you would be in trouble.

Around our house, the middle name meant I was in trouble.

Something tells me mine was not the only house that worked like this. I don’t think my mother invented it.

As I recall, this warning system was more popular for mom than dad — the late Bud, the lumber dealer who many of you know through this column.

There is one thing I thought I had invented — another maneuver that we heard on the campaign trail this past week.

When trouble loomed for which there was any chance I could blame my brother, I tried my best to do so.

When asked which one of us was responsible for (fill in the blank with the felony du jour), I would point to him and say: “That one.”

Not smart then. Not smart now.

■ ■ ■

A parking shuttle driver who worked both vice-presidential campaign events in Estero reports the Democrats were by far the more courteous and generous tippers.

■ ■ ■

Florida Chief Financial Officer Alex Sink sends word that she remains in the hunt for waste and abuse in the Alligator Alley privatization deal.

After telling our editorial board a few months ago that she would troubleshoot, we have not heard from the highest-ranking Democrat in state government about this Republican-driven proposal.

Her office now says, “Prior to the procurement phase and before awarding any contracts, the Department of Transportation is required to provide an independent study of the proposed lease. This analysis must show the lease is both cost-effective and has an overall public benefit.

“We’re awaiting this analysis to provide us with a basis to get started.

■ ■ ■

Lee County School Board members have taken the advice of Superintendent James Browder to do away with the academic rankings of valedictorian and salutatorian. They prefer bundling high achievers into three groups — summa cum laude, magna cum laude and cum laude.

Browder and the board said it was done to bypass competition that can get bitter and the last-minute ranks changes that can come when bright, motivated kids take final exams.

There was also talk about the vals and sals not actually enjoying the public speaking that comes with their titles.

The new system is overprotective. It pretends there is no such thing as competition and that some students actually groove on it. That’s good preparation for the real world, which is full of it.

As for the speaking part, Collier County Public Schools has that all figured out. Schools are allowed to opt for a contest format, inviting advance texts from all comers.

Jeff Lytle is editorial page editor of the Daily News. His e-mail address is jflytle@naplesnews.com. Call him at 263-4773.